Encounter, another

Sin? I went up to Poughkeepsie.....I wrote extensively on this. Exquisitely, splendidly gorgeous upstate NY is. I've been to natural sites the world over but I remember riding the train through this area and it's.....it at it's best can seem almost mythical. The river is a silver color....the least polutted?

I was .....it was on the campus, Vassar, where I met Blane. He was a writer/poet. Very abstract; existentialist-style. A little bizarre.

Hail Hekate! Cthonia

I love her.....

More than a little. Not someone ......how do I say? Not exactly typical. Or a pin up. But......it didn't take long for me to see he had that......that it. He was very sexy. I felt it before I knew what it was. That is the perfect aphrodisiac that setting. The hills, seagulls, silver silk river.....words and .......my raging hormones?


I still had my "commitment" to JC which I had intended to keep. It wasn't really; it was really happening. "Work" was well......

And.....
The....this dull ache and buzzing feeling all over me. All I could think about--well, it wasn't all I could think about. But all my impulses were to put his hands on me. To rub up against him. Feel him, feel him......what was it? He was just a strange person. But something.....what ....what he wrote made no sense really. But the desire to get close to him lit up in me bright, the brightest light. And hard. It was painful, physically, not to be able to. To be hindered from it.

Still, the other vision in my head was JC. Staring at me. Accusingly. That was painful too. How could I? I couldn't. I could. I read somewhere that Madonna, not that I want to think about her, had said she'd never been faithful to any of her men. That's awful, you know. I don't want to be that way. But who was I kidding? At one point in my life I had actually been, but only cause the opportunity to ....deviate....never came. I was sixteen. The prime of sexiness, nubile dripping youth and beauty, and I was loyal, and he still cheated on me and dumped me. Rick. Rhymes with Prick. He really screwed me in a lot of ways. Didn't even give me the satisfaction of breaking up with him. He had said, "I can't be with just one girl."

Let's say.....it didn't give me a lot of faith in men or relationships, that one.

But still JC was there. He was not there, but he was. His face. In his eyes. Angry. Hurt. I was terrible. What I was doing was terrible, and dirty.

"Put your fingers all over me. Get me sticky....." oh .....it was.....it was how he did it. It's so rare, almost never I get that from a guy. He licked me my nipple my neck down to my pussy then my nipple I threw my head back I did the same to him......put my tongue on the tip of his dick.....it had all happened very slowly and very fast......

I curled up on the bed and almost.....I almost was in love with Blane. I could be. I couldn't touch him enough. I couldn't ...be with him enough. People had said things to me about being in love with two people at once. I never believed it.